For one moment, i suddenly thought of dying and ending my life.

i didn't do well for my O'levels. I told many and sweared to myself to go all outs to force my way into Art School and get that particular course. Then, this morning Xiaoyu called and told me that She got a bad news and that is...
Her boyfriend went to Lasalle and helped us checked things out and found out that... In order to get in, we need ATLEAST 4 passes with at least Grade C6 and/or above. It was a horror to us. Right after i hanged up her call, i lied on my bed and felt total all lost. i didn't know what to do and for a moment, i thought of ending my life.
Well, what ever things i do in life, there will definitely be a reason behind it all. Not an excuse but REAL reasons.  So i thought of a reason behind my suicide. That reason was... I'm unable to go for what i want as i failed terribly.
As i was thinking of commit Suicide, suddenly, many many, EXTREMELY lots of things rush to my head straight. Fast. Memories after memories just like a short 10seconds of different memories starts playing in my mind and then i was reminded...
Of my hardwork, Of God. I admit my O'lvl Art paper 1 was a last minute work, i admit that i screwed up my Paper 2, i admit that my N'lvl Art was extremely last min but behind all this, there's a great hardwork in it. Many nights have been sacrificed for the urge to complete it... In fact i have sacrificed many many things to make my dream come true. If i were to die right away, what am i to myself?
What for working so hard, praying so hard, hoping so hard, sacrificing so much, finding all help in the first place?

Right now, as i'm typing all this, i just suddenly got reminded of my Vision. I am reminded how that tiny little small vision like a mastered seed expanded so big. I shouldn't stop.

When this vision of mine come to pass, not only it's my dream come true but it's also a dream come true to many many people.

Forget about the Money. Forget about the price-tag for the current state. I'm wanna make it happen. I wanna study Fashion Design. i want to learn to transform an ordinary fabric to something wearable in my own way, to something that looks so outstanding that many will be impress constantly.

I want to Shine for God. I still have hope as i was told that we are sill able to apply. TOmorrow, i will be going over to XiaoYu's placve which is just 50m away from my place to brain-stomp something out. We... need to think of a solution!