This is a post to myself.
This is a post made to you very first on 23January2011 around 3am. You took more than an hour to write this post.
Ning,
Every time I look at you, there’s really many things about you I really dislike especially your stubbornness but at the same time, I Love your stubbornness.
Sometimes, your stubbornness brought many many and really really lots of lots of misery to yourself, sometimes it brought heartache to your love ones, sometimes your stubbornness brought upon many troubles and problems to yourself, sometimes your stubbornness destroys some part of you, sometimes your stubbornness wasted some part of your life away and… sometimes your stubbornness brought you to success, victory… yes, it does save you… sometimes… some of the times.
Ning, I have to say… every time I look at you, I feel that you are extraordinarily special… There’s really a unique specialty about you that I really admire you. Some times I ask, who is ning?! Have she became another person or what?! You are so unique that whatever things you do in life, you are constantly… So frequently asking for that something. That something is always being looked down by others, being criticized by others, laughed by others. You always think and say the most crazy things that nobody would even want to think about it… You always plan to do the impossible things. You cried secretly in your room every time you feel discourage, sad, troubled… helpless and also… when you are lack of support. No matter what you face, I really like it that… many times, you said and readily prepared for defeat but always trying to make that little small change in a split second when it’s really near defeat. I like to see how discourage you becomes when you plan to give up on yourself… because if you don’t I guess you would have died long time ago.
I admire you… I really admire you for praying to that unknown God and pluck out the courage you had when you were so young saying so confidently, so boldly to mom and dad in front of that idolized altar saying that you will become a Christian one day, some day… You went searching for that something alone in the 1st place… I really like the Journey you had in searching for that something… Because you were so young back then, no one told you anything and you went around naively asking and searching for that something. Many laughed at you and made you a laughing stock but Thank Goodness, you were found and you have found.
I really like how you told yourself to have the courage to overcome things when you were 7. You forced yourself to enjoy and like things that many girls don’t. You wanted to get rid of having phobia towards insects that you forced yourself to catch cockroaches every time when it visit your house. You gave yourself challenges to catch insects and explore them, u saw the interesting patterns on those creatures and the different textile by putting them under bright lights for exploration. Eventually you fell in love with insects and always saying how beautiful they are although many said you have lose your mind.
Although I really wants to write more but I guess I will stop the story her straight. All I wanted to say is… Where have all your courage gone to? Weren’t you very bold back then? Since young, you always believe that no matter how impossible a situation is, everything can be done, now you have God, what are you hesitating? Work on it as it will surely definitely benefits you in future and of course in the journey of achieving your dreams and making your vision come true… and I’m sure all this I have written is something you are lack in and stopping you to do a wonderful portfolio.
Always remembers your motto: Strive for the best of the BEST. Excellence, Outstanding, Impressive, Creativity must never be out of your work.
Remember that your work have to meet up your own expectations, without anyone of this you know, you won’t be able to Shine for God. Because Excellence, Outstanding, Impressive, Creativity comes from God. Never for get that! I hope you will continue to work hard for your dream and even harder for that vision. Your Dream is the skeleton of the Vision that God is constantly expanding. Love you.
From Dearest and Most Sincerely,
God and Zining.
27th April 2011: Hi Ning, today is your Birthday, I wish you a Happy Birthday and hope that all this things you wrote to yourself on 23 January 2011 by you haven’t been forgotten by you.
